Yeah, motherhood has made me soft.  It is clearly evident on my lack of negotiation skills in my real estate endeavors.  In the old days, I would have put all my money on the number 8.  I would have then rolled an 8 six times, taken nearly all my money off the table and then thrown a 7 and crapped out.  These days I feel like I'm throwing a 7--every single day.  Every day is one day closer to sleeping with my husband and two kids on a queen size mattress on the floor of my nephew's bedroom, just waiting for my sister to crack the door open just enough so that the light from the bathroom shines directly into my face, blinding me.

Oh, to be back to my tricky-trickster days.  I used to pretty good at my job.  I would just throw a question out there and wait. 

The person would answer. 

And then my silence.

Nervousness would ensue and suddenly the person was talking more.  And more.  And more.  Oops, there's the truth.  Who would have thought?

Now?  Now I'm driving my husband crazy with my poor negotiations.

I wanted to buy a house today because I liked the owners.  Only the house is smaller than the shoebox I am living in RIGHT NOW.  But they were so nice.  Maybe we could live in a shoebox with no storage, no attic and no basement and only 3 bedrooms?  Maybe. 

Maybe I just need that big house.  We can just throw money at those people.  No word from the bank about our offer?  I'm calling the real estate agent to offer more money.  Still no word?  How about more money?  Not a peep?  Maybe I could take the Bank VP out to dinner?  How about a Baby Brewing shirt for his pregnant wife for Mother's Day? 

K:  Call the mortgage company and ask for more money.
D:  How much?
K:  As much as they'll give us.  MONEY IS NO OBJECT.  WE WILL USE THE CHILDREN AS COLLATERAL.  Maybe we can sell your truck.

Yeah, that one went over as expected.  But still there is a very small part of me that knows that I could hang with The Donald on residential property purchases.  We won't regret this.  I know it.  And yet we are now 16 days and counting.  Anyone interested in purchasing a lovely deforested rain forest Teak bedroom set from Costa Rica?  How about a 6 year old Volvo with 105K miles on it?  Every cent counts. 'Cause when I get that phat house with the smokin' pool, you are gonna be glad you know me.