sigh.

I have always wanted to use the prevalent blog "sigh."  It's so powerful.  You can just see my defeated shoulders hunched over, can't you?  But back to the show, kids.

This house has been on the market for 8 months.  I know the market is crap, but if I had known how crappy it was, I probably wouldn't have, I don't know, put EVERY SINGLE THING I OWN into 2 pods in order to make the house look miraculously spacious.  This would be for all the people that neglect to add up the square footage of each room of the house to realize that I live in a shoebox.  With a man who probably still has his drawings from preschool somewhere in a box. 

We filled up two pods full of our (read "his") crap and sent it on its way to a warehouse at the end of the earth.  Did we bother to remember what we put in there?  Noooooo.  Do we even know what crap is in which pod?  Nooooo.  We were going to sell our house in 2 months and buy a big fat house out in the boonies that would make even Ted Kaczynski proud in its remoteness.  All the baby stuff?  Ah, we'll dig it out when we get to the new house.  I didn't even keep one crate of baby clothes.  I have two kids, born in the exact same season, weighing only 1 ounce different at birth, and I've got nothin' for #2 to wear. 

So I have decided to retaliate and I want you good people of the Internet to help me.  Nothing says "BUY ME" quite like spending copious amounts of money that will not even be remotely be recoverable in the sale of the house.  You can vote for your favorite.

1. I can allow Derek to build his dream shed.  Coming in at just under $2,500, it would be built on a foundation, thus making it impossible to move to a new house.  Translation--money thrown down the drain.
2. I can allow the kind contractor to build that bedroom, bathroom and walk-in closet he has been dying to add to my house.  I would have to sell both of the children to get the $51,500 to pay for the addition.  With said addition I could probably ask $25,000 more for the house.  While never a Mathlete in high school, I'm gonna take a guess that this puts me in the hole. 
   
3. I can have the same contractor enclose my screen porch off the side of my house for $4,500.  This would add nothing to the value of my house and would mean that the grill AND the dog would be out of a home. 
   
4. I can allow Derek to enclose the screen porch.  See above, plus add guaranteed divorce.
5. I can have above-mentioned contractor convert my 1/2 bath that rivals a 737 lav in size into a full bath.  That would mean installing a shower fit for a 2 year old.
6. I could paint the dining room that beautiful blue I have been coveting for 2 years.  Then my child can come through the dining room on his tricycle and slam into the wall repeatedly, scuffing up my blue wall beyond repair.  I could paint all the other rooms in my house, following the ever-popular Pottery Barn/Restoration Hardware color theme.  Said child could then ruin all those walls as well.
7. Bring the pods back.  It only took 2 weeks to pack them half hazardly.  I'm sure it will be a snap to put 4,500 sq feet worth of stuff back into a 1,500 sq ft house.

So help me decide, people.  What do you think we should do over here at Chateau Cookie?

What is the quickest way to get a contract on this house?
	Shed--$2,000
	Bedroom, bathroom and closet--$51,500
	Screen porch--$4,500 (contractor)
	Screen porch--$2,000 (Derek)
	Convert bathroom--$5,800
	Paint house--$500
	Retrieve pods
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