Sunday, February 11, 2007

7:30 a.m.  Wake up
7:40 a.m. Shower
8:25 a.m.  Eat cheesecake.  Only a piece but want to eat half of cake.
9:00 a.m.  Contraction.
9:12 a.m.  Arrive at church for 9:00 a.m. service because God forbid we ever arrive on time.
10:45 a.m.  Go to Target because now seems like a good time to get latch to install carseat.  No latch.
11:14 a.m.  Go to other Target.  Larger, only same stuff with greater quantity.  No latch.  No bike for The Boy, which has now been added to list.
11:43 a.m.  Lunch at Famous Dave's.  Eat pulled pork sandwich, all of The Boy's chicken fingers, all french fries at our table and the table beside us.  Start to notice contractions.
12:45 p.m.  Head to Babies-R-Us for latch because now seems like a really, really good time to put car seat in car.  Have more contractions in Babies-R-Us because I can't find anything.  Common reaction by anyone in Babies-R-Us.  Think nothing of it.
1:15 p.m.  Get in bed at home to make contractions stop.  Husband decides to put car seat in car and truck.
2:30 p.m.  Suspicious sounds of husband's truck driving off.
3:00 p.m.  Confirmation truck is gone and husband is at Wal-Mart.  See the color red. Have more contractions
3:32 p.m.  Husband arrives home and realizes error of his ways.  Too late.  Has bike for The Boy so not in dog house with everyone.
4:45 p.m.  Arrive at sister's house because it seems smarter to be closer to birth center rather than further away.  Eat all of sister's pita and hummus in house.  Dump off The Boy, who begins to party like rock star with his cousins.
5:30 p.m  Call midwife.  Sheepishly complain of contractions every 5 minutes.  Can't really talk but not really noticing it.  Told to go to center.
6:00 p.m.  Midwife drives up to center to find me hunched over mid-contraction, 5 cm dialated, trying to steal wireless connection from the neighbor.
6:30 p.m  Get into jacuzzi bathtub.  Not as much fun when in labor as when NOT in labor but much better than rolling on the floor.  Realize that it was better that there was no wireless connection to blog because everyone knows a jacuzzi, laptop and labor make a deadly combination.
7:00 p.m.  Go to restroom, cause husband to panic that I might have baby in the toilet, which I of course have no intention of doing. 
7:38 p.m  Water breaks in bathroom in an Alien-like scene, spraying all 5 people in the bathroom.  Seems ironically fitting since there were 5 people in the bathroom the size of the lav on a 737. 
7:39 p.m  Crawl to bed of horribly decorated room reminiscent of tacky southern colonial-style B&B run by a woman named Mae, determined to have baby in a bed like a normal decent woman. 
7:47 p.m.  Begin screaming manically "Get him OUT.  SOMEONE GET HIM OUT.  I JUST WANT HIM OUT."
7:48 p.m.  Give birth to the sweetest baby in the whole world.  Am really glad I did NOT have a silent birth.