I pulled into the parking lot at 9:03 this morning.  I was running a little late because I didn't get out of bed until 8, thanks to the 3 to 6 am insomnia. 

The parking lot was packed.  Packed in a "no wait, I think there might be a spot at the very end of the row" kind of way.  There was a minivan parking when I was pulling into my spot.  You have NEVER seen a pregnant woman move so fast.  I didn't know who she was but I sure as hell wasn't letting her get that last 10-2 preschool spot.

I walked into the building to see 60 people in front of me in line.  The line snaked around like Disney World.  "Just be here when the doors open at 9:30," my ass.  I called Derek.

K:  You are NOT going to believe this.  There are 60 people in line in front of me. 
D:  That's your fault.
K:  What do you mean?  How is this MY fault?
D:  Maybe you shouldn't have made the scene in the hallway yesterday by telling everyone it was like Black Friday.  YOU started a run on the bank. 
K:  OMG, I started a run on the bank.
D:  You know that lady from yesterday called all her friends and told them what you said.

And she had.  I know this because she was in line in front of me.  And she was PISSED OFF.

Oops.

I sat down at the end of the line in the last chair.  The line started to move slowly and I called my sister.

J:  Don't they have a special line just for alumni?
K:  This IS the alumni registration.
J:  Crap.  Can't you just pretend to go into labor so they'll let you go to the front of the line.
K:  I can promise you that these people would walk right over my laboring body to get a better spot in line.

I was just starting to get warmed up.  That's when fun turned to tragedy.  I was sitting on a seat, kinda minding my own business, when one mom across the hall started to talk to the mom seated behind me.

M#1:  So what class is Amanda going to take next year?
M#2:  I don't know.  Amanda can't make a decision about whether she wants to be a Frog or a Giraffe.  Today she wants to be Frog.
M#2:  (turning to Amanda) Well you know, Amanda.  The decision you make today is the one you are going to have to live with forever.  So you had better make the right decision.

I looked over to see Amanda sitting on the chair on the other side of her mother with her little legs crossed at the ankles, swinging them slowly.  Amanda was maybe 4 years old. 

What happened next, I would like to formally blame on pregnancy. 

I leaned across Amanda's mother.  I shook my hand to get Amanda's attention.  And God in heaven help me, I said...

K:  Amanda, this is a very important decision.  The decision you will make today will lay the foundation for the rest of your preschool career.  Call it your preschool major, if you will. 

Amanda looked at me blankly and the mothers all laughed. 

D:  Did they realize you were joking?
K:  I was joking?  The kid is 4 years old.  I wasn't joking.
D:  You were joking.  Tell me they thought you were joking.

I was joking?  I changed my major 3 times in college, got a law degree and now I sell smart ass maternity t-shirts and I'm a stay-at-home mommy blogger.  Just think if I had chosen to be a Giraffe instead of a Frog.  Where the hell would I be now?