Admit it.  You are dying to know if I am going to talk about my husband or my child.  Which one will it be?  Surprise.  Try as hard as he did, I surpassed my husband last night as the family freak.

We got invited to the Casa Blanca Open House last night by my very gracious ex-boyfriend. 

Ex-B:  Hey.
K:  Hey.  Long time.
Ex-B:  What's up with you?
K:  Well, I'm almost 8 months pregnant.
Ex-B:  What the hell are you thinking?
K:  Ummm.  I don't want Ethan  to be one of those "only children."  You know, turn out to be a brat like you.
Ex-B:  Good point.  You should have 7 kids. 
K:  Uh, no.
Ex-B:  So, do you and hubby want to go to the Casa Blanca this Saturday for the annual Open House?
K:  Sure.
Ex-B:  Good.  We'll meet you outside.

My husband grumbled and complained.  He had to wear a suit AND see my ex-boyfriend.  Who, might I add, is 1/10 as smart as my husband, 7 inches shorter than my husband, 1/2 as cute as my husband, and we only dated for approximately 20 minutes. 

K:  Fine, if you don't want to go the White House Open House then we won't go.  I mean, it's important to me but don't let that factor in your decision.  But if we don't go, you'll miss out on Ex's chippy girlfriend.
D:  How old is she again?
K:  26, 5'10" and looks like a model.  I've only seen her once, when she was 24, 5'10" and looking like a model.  Never introduced.
D:  A suit?
K:  Yes, you have to wear a suit.

My husband never likes to miss an opportunity to see arm candy up close and in person.  Just because he married for love doesn't mean he isn't curious about his peers that find the babes half their age.  We dropped The Boy off with his cousins, took public trans from there and then I walked 6 blocks in 3 inch high heels.  Where, within 20 feet of the White House, my ankles gave out and refused to walk any more.  So I got to meet my ex-boyfriend's model girlfriend as I carried my heels and tried to balance my 8 month pregnant body over my feet. 

She was very gracious and suggested I just keep my shoes off for the rest of the evening.  Which meant I came up to her belly button.  She was comfortably dressed in flats as her boyfriend is a good 3 inches shorter than her.  And about 16 years older than her.  I would have been as insecure as the homecoming queen who showed up at the 10 year high school reunion 9 months pregnant and miserable, but then again, I wasn't the homecoming queen and this girl was a zygote when I was in high school.  I could tell that she was jealous that I was 8 months pregnant.  I mean, I'm hot.  What with that $19.99 Motherhood Maternity dress I was able to wear YET AGAIN.  Still stuck at 2 wears, I'm guessing that I'll have to start wearing it to drop Ethan off at preschool just to be sure I get my money's worth.  It was an extravagant purchase, but I know I can make it worth it.

Best comment of the night....

D:  We've spent $100 billion dollars on the war in Iraq and they can't even spring for an open bar or food at this thing.

I can only hope the Secret Service picked up on the comment and has placed us on the "citizens to watch" list. 

Second best comment of the night...when told that the painting of Lincoln was painted posthumously...

D:  So you are saying they propped him up after he was dead and just painted him?

Keep in mind, I was walking in my $3.99 thigh highs and holding my 3 inch heels.  Who would have thought he would look/sound better?