Overheard as I was lying in bed (a random bed in the house, not belonging to me, but deliciously empty other than me and had been for the entire night) and after listening to a long dissertation on how an electric razor works, complete with props and live action demonstrations.

D:  Ethan, you were crying, crying, crying last night.
E:  Os.
D:  Why were you so cranky?
E:  Mommy's cranky.
D:  Did you just say "Mommy's cranky?"
E:  Mommy's cranky.
D:  Actually for once, I don't think Mommy is cranky.

Clear as a bell.   Do they think I'm deaf?

On the phone later this morning.

K:  If I have to do one more HOUR of the *&^% Goldbug book, I'm gonna shoot myself.
D:  I don't understand what the problem is.  You just have to sit there, tell him to find the Goldbug and then pretend that you are looking too.  What's the big deal?
K:  Big deal?  On hour 4 or hour 9?  Or is it when he grasps your face with both of his little hands, rips your head around with force that just may one of these days result in needing a neck brace and yells "NOOOO, MOMMMMMAAA!!!!!! Gole-UUUUUGGGG!" as he kicks your laptop off your lap?
D:  I just don't see it.  Sorry.

And last, but not least, and living proof that there is a God and he wants me to be happy...

E:  Daaa-eeee, GOOOLLLEEE-UUUGGGG!!!!!
D:  You read it, Ethan.  I'm eating dinner.
E:  Daaa-eeee, GOOOLLLEEE-UUUGGGG!!!!!
D:  Ethan, don't you want to eat your dinner?  It's pizza.
E:  NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Gole-ug.
D:  Babe, I don't know what he wants.
K:  (horribly smug) Oh, he wants you to put your dinner down, put your arm around him and listen with rapt attention as he finds the Goldbug on the page for the 9 millionth time.  Come on, Babe.  What's the big deal?
E:  People, GOOOOOOLLLLLLEEEE-UUUUGGG!
D:  Did he just say "people?"
K:  Yeah.  He's also been walking around the house yelling "Doula" all day.  Jen will be so proud.

I'm thinking we are in for a good old fashioned book burning.  Seems like Dad might be on board now.