He lets you eat salt and vinegar chips in bed.

Mom only hopes that when she gets upstairs, The Boy will have been eating chips in his own bed, rather than in his parents bed.  It doesn't sound hopeful.

And where the hell did he get a bag of chips?  And why is he eating them at 10:13 p.m?  If you have the answer to one or any of these questions, please feel free to contribute. 

Damn that waitress who brought him that glass of lemonade with dinner.  And the second glass of lemonade when he asked politely for it.  Nothing like a toddler mainlining sugar at 9:00 at night.