This morning I made the mistake of trying to get some laundry done.  OK, my real mistake was letting The Boy wander around while I did laundry.  I told him to come down to the basement with me but he kept wandering away.  I heard him up on the landing and then heard the tell-tale sound of the diaper being taken off.

Crap!

He wandered down the stairs a couple of minutes later butt ass naked.

K:  Go get your diaper NOW!!!  What is the rule?  You have to wear you DIAPER!!!  Why did you take it off?
E:   Ga va ta os.
K:  Whatever.  Go up and get that diaper RIGHT NOW!

He wandered off and moments later I heard him coming back down the stairs.  I heard a "plop" of the diaper on the floor and turned around to find him standing behind me, holding a very small poo up in his hand to me.  He was talking a mile a minute.  I have no idea where he gets that.  It didn't matter anyway because I didn't have a clue what he was saying.  I just dragged him back to his diaper, made him place the poo in the diaper and then carried him upstairs to wash his hands.  All the way I was lecturing him.  He was trying to talk but I was having no part of it.  I helped him wash his hands and he was still trying to tell me something.  Suddenly I understood what he was trying to say.

K:  Ethan, do you want to get on the potty?
E:  OOOOOSSSSSS.

Os is the new "yes." 

I put him on the potty and he proceeded to fill it up.  Oops.  Upon relaying this to my mother, she very kindly yet firmly reminded me that I had told Ethan that he needed to go to the bathroom in the big boy potty and not in his diaper so that's what he was doing when he took his diaper off.  Apparently he realized at the very beginning of his bowel movement that he was doing the wrong thing and was trying to do the right thing.  And his mother wasn't listening to him. 

My mother rebuked me for not potty training a child who was clearly giving up on me and trying to potty train himself.  What kind of mother am I?  Lazy.  In case you were wondering.

As a side note, Marelle called me and left a message saying that while she was talking to her mortgage broker on the phone, she turned around to find 4 year old Faith attempting to put sanitary napkins in her underwear.

Faith:  Mommy, which way does it go in my panties?

Marelle's comment to me and by far the best line of the day...

"Is it wrong that I want my pads to only touch my vagina?  Is that so selfish?"