Yesterday I offered to bring firewood over to the firepit at my sister's house.  This was because it is not my job to get the firewood in the back. 

Derek gave me The Look.  I told him we could just go to Safeway and buy wood if he wanted.  No, no, no.   We are cheap asses now so we will pay for nothing.  He and The Boy went out back to get the wood and I ran upstairs to take a 2 minute shower.  When I came back downstairs, I heard the door slam and Ethan screaming.  Derek was pissed.

Apparently there was a bee's nest in the firewood and they had chased Derek across the yard.  He said that he had been stung twice and that he had run past Ethan in hopes that they would leave him alone.  He ran back, snatched The Boy up and ran into the house.  The Boy had stopped crying after being cranky for a whole 8 seconds.  We administered first aid to Derek in hopes that he would not DIE. 

About 10 minutes later, Derek rubbed The Boy's back and he yelped.  I lifted his shirt and there was a big ole stinger in his side.  His father moans for 10 minutes about his stings and his son only cries for 8 seconds.  I can see The Boy has his mother's, rather than his father's pain threshold. 

Later at my sister's house, I watched as Derek was unable to maintain eye contact with anyone.

K:  I gave you two Benadryl.  How many did you take?
D:  One.
K:  Look at your leg (pointing to the huge bubble growing on his leg).  Did you take any Benadryl at all?
D:  I took one.  Honest.
K:  You can't just take two like everyone else in America? 
D:  I don't like how they make me feel.
K:  What with death feeling so much better.  You can't even follow conversations right now.

I ran to the truck and got ANOTHER Benadryl.  I handed it to him.  He popped it in his mouth and chased it with a beer.  I then made him lift up his tongue to see that he had actually taken it.  My sister looked on in disbelief. 

J:  You are treating him like a child. 
K:  It's either treat him like a child now or take him to the hospital later.  If he could be responsible, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

My sister and Dave then spent the rest of the night trying desperately to engage Derek in intelligent conversation for which he is usually known.  Ha.  That Benadryl/anaphylactic shock combo will really suck the life out of you...

The Boy never once looked at his sting again.  Thank God.  Having one baby is bad enough.