We have issues at our house regarding the drain in the tub.  There.  I can say it.  Now that the rat bastard who SAID he would buy our house if he could sell his house figured out that selling a house isn't very easy now, is it, and requested a do-over.  So all those problems that we have been covering with a little paint here and a little turning off the faucets there can now be discussed in the open.  Because the house is never going to sell and I am going to have to live in this little shoebox for the rest of my friggin' life with Mr. I'm Just Checking The Prices of MRE's And Not Really Buying Them and his Mini Me and God only knows what is going to come out of this belly when it is all said and done.  But alas, I digress.

I spent my last $6.89 on the brand new Liquid Plumber super action Clog Remover guaranteed to take your clog and send it shooting out of your drain and onto the cafe table of a romantical couple dining out in Paris.  The trip to Paris to see said spectacle is not included in the price and unfortunately just left to your imagination.  I imagine that my romantical couple is about to get engaged but the clog ruins their whole evening and they break up. 

My husband sent me out for just Drano but I could not say "no" to Madison Avenue.  To do so would be disrespectful and downright un-American.  I mean, what if this new product was the end-all, be-all?  We've poured 37 gallons of Drano down the tub drain and still my hair continues to fight the fight.  Well, my hair and all the rest of the hair that has gone down the drain for the last 53 years.  How's that for nostalgia?

Yeah, the crap didn't work.  They have a money back guarantee but then they don't tell you HOW to get your money back.  Shocking, I know.

Then we tried to snake the drain.  You are thinking, "which one of you tried to snake the drain?"  That would be all of us.  All three of us in the tub.  The Boy contributed by trying to do exactly every thing his father did.  Which, thank you Jesus, his father thought was sweet. 

"I can see I'm going to have a little helper on my projects from now on."

I'm thinking:  "For GOD'S SAKE, get the HELL out of the drain.  HELLO, NOT HELPING HERE."  But I didn't say it.  I just let the male bonding drip on and on until they both realized that nothing short of hiring someone was going to fix this clog and they left. 

Then I started.  I poured a quarter bottle of Super Dooper Mega Wega Drano "only use as directed and NEVER in conjunction with another cleaner" right down that drain.  Please.  Then I plunged it.  Afterward...

K:  Can you plunge Drano?
D:  NO.
K:  What, hypothetically, would happen if you plunged Drano?
D:  Besides splashing up in your eyes and permanently blinding you, it could render it ineffective because it is actually keeping it from the clog.
K:  Ok, just wondering.
D:  Did you plunge the Drano?
K:  Don't worry, I still have my eyesight.  But you might not want to brush your teeth upstairs.
D:  Did you pour the Drano in the sink?
K:  No, but we're having a little chemical reaction here.  It's not the fire that they predicted but it's smelling a little toxic in here right now.  I'm just making a suggestion.  You can brush if you want to.
D:  So what are you doing brushing up there now?
K:  I was already committed when the toxic smell began.

We'll never know what did the trick but I have to say that it's draining a lot better.  Personally I think it was the trifecta.

(if you have stumbled upon this blog looking for the campy "Snakes in a Drain video" you are in the wrong place.  I anticipated that google may send you here and tried to provide a link, but then I ended up with spyware on my computer that said it would help me find porn.  I wasn't looking for porn and it's not very hard to find anyway, but I figured that others might not want it.  So I guess you are going to have to just back out to Google.  Good luck with that).