Oh my GOD the child is getting even more teeth
This entry was posted on 8/15/2006 9:23 PM and is filed under half-assed parenting, Boo Boo Kitty.
It's not possible, I know. But the kid has had his hand in his mouth for 2 weeks. His entire hand. I can only imagine how comfortable it is to go around with your entire hand in your mouth.
And then the drooling started. He would just stand over me when I was lying on the couch, drooling, drooling, drooling. There is nothing that an ill pregnant woman likes better than to have a mouthful of toddler drool running down the front of her shirt. The shirt that she has been wearing for two days because she just didn't have the energy to change it. Despite the fact that said toddler has learned the new skill of blowing his nose and just blows, blows, blows until mom's shirt is covered in little boogers. That shirt that hasn't been changed since yesterday.
I just couldn't believe he was getting more teeth. I called him over and demanded he open his mouth so I could take inventory. 16. That's too many. How many teeth does a kid need really? Then I counted my own. I think there were 24. Maybe. Not good considering I had my wisdom teeth removed. I decided to get all clever and look it up online.
He is getting his 2 year old molars. Of course he is. What with him being 18 months and all. I reached into his mouth to search for the telltale "ridges." And very nearly had my fingers severed from my hand. I don't know what is going on in the back of that mouth and frankly I don't care anymore. I'm not sticking my hand in there again. I'm not a trained professional.
He woke up a little while ago wailing. His father asked for the Tylenol but it was only later that I realized he meant for The Boy. I'm thinking whiskey might have been a little quicker but it is frowned upon these days. I found some orajel sticks for adults, but I'm thinking if you just rub the gums really quickly, it's like the baby version. I can't wait to get on the plane to LA next week. A gatorade-less, orajel-less, tylenol-less, food-less, frozen chew toy-less 5 hour flight with a teething toddler. And an alcohol-less trip for mom. Woohoo-less.
