Well I got my first cranky email about my "Definitely not having a silent birth" maternity tee over at babybrewing.  Rebecca from California writes, "Your Not having a silent birth is definitely NOT funny."

Oops.  I thought it was funny.  Apparently it is definitely NOT funny.  I have offended.  Derek and I began to discuss this ad nauseum.  Or I discussed it ad nauseum and Derek commented when he could get a word in edgewise.

K:  I wasn't trying to offend anyone.  Hey, Jen wanted me to make a tshirt that said "Silent Birth=Crui-azy."  Now that would have been mean.
D:  You are making fun of them.
K:  I'm actually just exercising my constitutional right to free speech and free choice.  You know, a woman's right to choose.  For those who "choose" not to have a silent birth.  Who won't have L. Ron Hubbard telling them to keep their mouths shut while they attempt to pass a 15 1/2 inch head out of a hole the size of a sharpie pen. 

I would just like to say that I officially passed the bar two days ago and it didn't take me long to obtain the ability to talk OUT OF MY ASS at a moment's notice.

OK, so maybe I don't actually believe that the constitution actually gives the right to choose, but that is besides the point. 

I have thought about this all day.  Wondering why someone would take a joke so seriously.  Derek thought that Rebecca was Katie Holmes, in cognito.  I think she is still being silent (has it been 7 days yet?) and Dave thought that Rebecca was the legal counsel for the Church of Scientology. 

Then I googled Rebecca.  Note to all you internetors out there.  If you are going to leave cranky emails, don't use rebeccainsertlastname@theslowestinternetconnectioninAmerica.com when you send the cranky email.  You are entitled to your opinion and you are entitled to share it with me (I believe I have already mentioned the constitution somewhere here).  But odds are pretty good that I am going to blog about it and it won't be pretty.  And you'll have to be patient with me, as I have not completed of Grade IV Expanded and the Happiness Rundown, as Rebecca has.  So in all my unenlightenedment, I apologize for making a joke that was not funny.  

But here is the kicker.  I had a silent birth.  Not a Scientology-espoused silent birth, but I reached a point that I threatened to bring physical harm to anyone who broke my concentration.  In fact, my husband caught on really quick.  I think it had something to do with me saying, "Stop TALKING."  And the fact that I was looking for an extremely sharp object with which to impale him.  But if he had told me before I had Ethan that I HAD to be silent, I can promise I would have screamed like a banshee from the first contraction on (that's 28 hours of screaming, if you needed the math).  

So I guess the joke is on me.  Sorry to offend.