We have been eating at "Family Restaurant and Pizzaria" (sic) for about forever. We used to go there on weekends B.E. for breakfast. A mediocre breakfast at best, but what can you expect from a "Pizzaria" anyway? I haven't had a decent breakfast since I left the Land of the Diners, New Jersey.

Without fail, Derek orders an omelette with many items. Kind of a western meets greek. And like clockwork, he starts out with..."I'll have an omelette with cheddar and (insert whatever).

The only problem is that "Family Restaurant and Pizzaria" (you can't make this up, I swear) has never, ever, EVER had cheddar cheese. The waitresses are getting quick now. They just agree to whatever he says and go off to spit in his omelette. This morning....

KH: FAMILY RESTAURANT never has cheddar cheese. Why the hell do you keep ordering an omelette with cheddar cheese? It doesn't say cheddar cheese on the menu.
DT: On the menu it says they have that cheese omelette with "various cheeses." What kind of cheese do you think they are putting in that?
KH: AMERICAN, feta, mozzarella, parm maybe?
DT: They are not.

Four words for you, folks. "Family Restaurant and Pizzaria." It would not surprise me in the least if the cheese omelette showed up with two colors of American cheese and a sprinkle of parmesan.

So the omelette shows up. That "cheddar" is looking awfully runny.

KH: How's that "cheddar" cheese?
DT: Shut up.