I have become one of THEM. You know those assholes who mows his lawn before noon on the weekend.

I remember when I was single and in my first year of law school. I would work all day, go to school all night. I lived for Saturdays when I wouldn't get out of bed until 5:00 p.m. It was me and 80's movies on TBS all day. If I heard any manner of lawn equipment prior to noon, I would lie in bed with a pillow over my head, convincing myself that random gunshots out my window would NOT be productive.

Well, ever since "The Incident," I'm stuck doing all the heavy lifting and I might be stuck mowing my yard for the rest of my miserable life. So since the AC is out and we are living "efficiency style" in the living room, we were all up bright and early this morning. OK, not so bright. So I decided to mow the lawn/savannah that I have neglected for the past week. And I sure as hell wasn't waiting til it got nice and HOT to do it.

KH: Is 8:42 a.m. a decent hour to start mowing the lawn?
DT: The neighbors will probably just be glad it's mowed.
KH: The neighbors who care have been up since 5 a.m. anyway.

For personal safety reasons, I mowed the backyard first. It cuts down on the list of possible suspects should someone decide to shoot me. By the time I got to the front yard, it was like 9:30. Hello, who's not up at 9:30?????

I've become one of Those People. The people with kids who don't give a rat's ass about the Other People Without Kids. I can't believe I have sunk this low.